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 Parenting Related NewsMy colleague told me she was having her 10-year-old stepson practice his reading and comprehension skills while reading entries from my personal blog. Effectively, she noted, along the way she discovered that it’s a creative method of early drug prevention too.
She smiled and said she was proud of him. He had come to a 180 degree turn in his life. And with that, he turned to the other teens and thanked them for helping him change his life. His victory became theirs.
I am betting that very few of you have sat through a week’s worth of sex education classes at your teenkid’s school. If your school district offers – or mandates – such classes, you no doubt have received a carefully crafted note listing the topics to be covered. And, if you have somehow managed to raise one of those rare tweens or teens who, in response to “so, what happened at school today?” replies polysyllabically, you might have a general notion of what goes on.
As a college student living 5 hours away from my parents, I have the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want. If I got into any real trouble, with the university or the law, only then would the school contact my parents. Otherwise, I can get away with a lot without my parents ever knowing. That’s a scary thought for parents reading this, right?
One in five teenagers has abuse prescription pain medication. Dr. Drew shares some reasons why teens are abusing pills and what parents can do if they suspect their child is using.
Let’s face it. Teens are not that interested in talking to someone whose sole intent is to pepper them with questions, judge their answers, and offer unsolicited advice. In fact, these forms of communication serve to obstruct rather than facilitate communication with our teens. As a matter of fact, they are part of a longer list of communication blocks that parents would do well to avoid if they’d want their teens to talk to them.
Do you know an outstanding youth coach or student athlete who demonstrates a commitment to fair, drug-free play and an overall healthy lifestyle? Does this person inspire others to give it their all, make the team smile after a big defeat, or show exemplary character and integrity on and off the field?
If you answered YES, [...]
Being a responsive parent instead of a reactive parent begins with more matter-of-fact interactions with our kids. This means speaking to them in a calm manner and not freaking out, overreacting and getting extreme with our emotions. Too often, when we see something in our relationship that we don’t like, we try to change everything wholesale. We say things like, “From now on, things are going to be different!”
While it was hard to immediately see the outward effects of my pill intake, inside, I was detaching from reality. I always describe the feeling of being on pills as being inside a protective bubble. You feel like nothing can hurt you…and eventually, nothing can, simply because you’ve got no emotions left.
Truth be told, the lessons about alcohol consumption that are the most powerful may just be the ones that are not accompanied by a wagging finger and a tongue lashing. It is the small, accumulated lessons about drinking that add up to make a difference.
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HOW DO TEENS MAKE ONLINE DECISIONS?Raising Teens to Make Good Decisions Online
By Carolyn Jabs
In the early 1990’s, when today’s teenagers were babies, the only people who knew about the Internet were scientists, computer programmers and a few members of the U.S. military. Today, every parent is expected to be an expert in how to keep young people safe in this new and complicated environment. Some parents respond by trying to monitor everything their teens do online. A larger number worry a lot but do little according to research by Dr. Larry Rosen, professor at California State University. He concedes that parents face a “daunting task” in supervising online teens because most adults no idea about how to make safe and constructive use of Facebook, MySpace, Twitter and Wikipedia. Although teens may know more than parents about online activities, they still need adult guidance about how to make wise choices. Dr. Rosen recommends parents open up conversation and listen carefully to discover what online activities teens find compelling and why. That understanding can lead to meaningful family rules. More important, such discussions nurture the judgment teens need to lead safe and satisfying online lives. Remember: Not everything about the Internet is bad for your teenager. Here are four crucial developmental areas parents should take into account: Independence -- Evaluating information through critical thinking
During adolescence, young people want to explore the larger world beyond home and parents. The Internet can be a powerful part of his process because it offers unprecedented access to ideas, images, music and video. Adults understand that much of what they encounter online must be filtered to determine whether or not it is reliable. Teens, for all their surface sophistication, are often very trusting. They need help distinguishing verifiable facts from unfounded opinion and detecting material that is commercial, political or even fraudulent. Encourage your teen to think critically about what he or she finds online. Share your own experiences and explain why certain websites make you skeptical or wary. Ask your child to show you websites of interest. Avoid snap judgments about their content. Instead, ask curious, respectful questions that will prompt your child’s thinking. Who’s behind this blog/video/website? Why did they make it? Are they believable? How do you know? How could you find out? Introduce your child to snopes.com, a website that debunks Internet myths. Peers -- Creating healthy relationships and communities
Peers are enormously important to teens, so they have been enthusiastic adopters of every form of social media from chat and text messaging to Facebook and massive multi-player games. “The things we see adolescents using with great fervor online are all connective,” observes Amanda Lenhart, senior research specialist at the Pew Research Center Internet and American Life. “Combined, they create a very rich social space.” Parents tend to worry about strangers a child might encounter online. Researchers, however, point out that teens are more likely to be bullied or harassed by peers and that they often put themselves at risk by posting TMI (too much information.) “Kids find it hard to remember who is in an online space,” says Lenhart. “It’s not just a question of predators. There’s also the issue of friending your cousin who talks to your aunt who talks to your mom.” Because they can’t see the responses of others, teens are often thoughtless and even cruel online. Remind your teen to think before pressing send. How will other people feel about seeing or receiving the message? How would your child feel if it were directed at him or her? What kind of online reputation does your teen want to have? Sexuality – Aligning behavior with values
From the beginning, the Internet has been a very racy place. In one early study of chat, Dr. Patricia Greenfield of the Children’s Digital Media Center found teens averaged one sexual comment per minute. “That figure” she observes, “is considerably more than what you would expect in real life conversation.” Although parents are justifiably concerned about access to pornography, they must also be aware that many teens choose to explore their sexuality by posting or exchanging provocative photos and videos. Instead of lecturing teens what they shouldn’t do, emphasize the rewards of healthy romantic relationships both on and offline. Encourage your teen to articulate his or her own values. What qualities matter in a partner? How do you decide whether you can trust someone? How can you resist pressure to do things you don’t feel comfortable doing? Risk-taking – Learning to think long-term
Teens are notorious for their inability to think beyond the coming weekend. This short-sightedness makes them especially vulnerable online. “Most adults did things in adolescence that make them look back and cringe,” says Lenhart. “Now all of that persists online—even if you don’t want it to.” Use TV programs, YouTube videos and even news about celebrities to make the link between impulsive decisions and long-term consequences. When your teen starts social networking, insist on being part of his or her network. Just knowing that you could visit the page—even if you rarely do—creates a kind of conscience. Remind teens regularly that things they post online are never truly private because they can so easily be replicated. Parents must also help teens keep online activities in perspective so they don’t crowd out important off-line pursuits including chores, homework, family time and sleep. If necessary, install a timer on computers and game systems and confiscate cell phones at dinner time and before bed. Finally, when your teen makes an online mistake, don’t threaten to disconnect. This is a new environment. There will be missteps. Although it may be tempting to nail teens for being teens, parents must focused on the real goal—raising young people savvy enough to sidestep online pitfalls while taking full advantage of online possibilities. You can read Carolyn's column, Growing Up Online, in regional parenting publications from Staten Island to Sacramento as well as on her web site www.growing-up-online.com. |
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