| FROM THE PRESIDENT |
 |
| PARENTING TOPICS |
| RESOURCES |
 Parenting Related NewsTruth be told, the lessons about alcohol consumption that are the most powerful may just be the ones that are not accompanied by a wagging finger and a tongue lashing. It is the small, accumulated lessons about drinking that add up to make a difference.
I am betting that very few of you have sat through a week’s worth of sex education classes at your teenkid’s school. If your school district offers – or mandates – such classes, you no doubt have received a carefully crafted note listing the topics to be covered. And, if you have somehow managed to raise one of those rare tweens or teens who, in response to “so, what happened at school today?” replies polysyllabically, you might have a general notion of what goes on.
Do you know an outstanding youth coach or student athlete who demonstrates a commitment to fair, drug-free play and an overall healthy lifestyle? Does this person inspire others to give it their all, make the team smile after a big defeat, or show exemplary character and integrity on and off the field?
If you answered YES, [...]
My colleague told me she was having her 10-year-old stepson practice his reading and comprehension skills while reading entries from my personal blog. Effectively, she noted, along the way she discovered that it’s a creative method of early drug prevention too.
One in five teenagers has abuse prescription pain medication. Dr. Drew shares some reasons why teens are abusing pills and what parents can do if they suspect their child is using.
Let’s face it. Teens are not that interested in talking to someone whose sole intent is to pepper them with questions, judge their answers, and offer unsolicited advice. In fact, these forms of communication serve to obstruct rather than facilitate communication with our teens. As a matter of fact, they are part of a longer list of communication blocks that parents would do well to avoid if they’d want their teens to talk to them.
Being a responsive parent instead of a reactive parent begins with more matter-of-fact interactions with our kids. This means speaking to them in a calm manner and not freaking out, overreacting and getting extreme with our emotions. Too often, when we see something in our relationship that we don’t like, we try to change everything wholesale. We say things like, “From now on, things are going to be different!”
She smiled and said she was proud of him. He had come to a 180 degree turn in his life. And with that, he turned to the other teens and thanked them for helping him change his life. His victory became theirs.
One of the most important things you can do as a 21st Century grandparent is instilling a belief in philanthropy. My husband and I have helped foster a sense of “giving back” into our grandchildren that is helping them learn the importance of assisting those in need.
As a college student living 5 hours away from my parents, I have the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want. If I got into any real trouble, with the university or the law, only then would the school contact my parents. Otherwise, I can get away with a lot without my parents ever knowing. That’s a scary thought for parents reading this, right?
|
 |
||
| HOME | ABOUT US | MISSION STATEMENT | SUPPORT PTRN | CONTACT US | ||
Drive: Nine Ways to Motivate Your Kids To Achieve
WHAT DOES PURPOSE LOOK LIKE? Individuals who are confident in their purpose are highly motivated because they are driven by something bigger than themselves. These individuals have difficulty understanding why people want to retire because they find their work so fulfilling. They are generally satisfied most of the time, regardless of income or current circumstances. They understand that they are secure in their place in the world. Spotting an adolescent or very young adult with purpose is not as easy. Purpose in a young person looks a little bit different. Except in rare cases, young people express a different sort of purpose. For them, it might be playing on a particular sports team or singing in a choir. They are driven by the sheer joy of participating in something they love. Sometimes they love an activity because all their friends are participating with them. Other times it is because they have a talent for it or think it is fun. Children focus on what feels good today. They want to enjoy the moment and soak it all in. Many adults have difficulty with this. Such parents continually badger their children to figure out what they will do to earn a living. While it is fine to ask these natural questions, it is just as important to ask kids what they like to do for fun, what type of place they might want to live in after high school (city versus small town; warm versus cold; big college versus little college). Parents should talk to their kids about things they enjoy right now and what they value about those things. These conversations should be relevant to the child’s present and help connect it to their future, instead of the other way around. On the other hand, here is a teen without purpose: when you talk to this teen, he is usually pleasant enough and doesn’t do things that rock the boat. He is unable to identify things he likes to do or anything that has much of any interest for him. There is no spark in his eyes, no passion, no real motivation to get off the couch. A teen without purpose has difficulty finishing school. He can’t even see past next week, let alone next year. Therefore, he will not have the motivation to move forward with his life. This is the kind of young person who will generally live at home with his parents well into his twenties, thirties, and beyond. If you want to help a teen like this establish a life of his own, you must help him develop some interests and passions in life that will motivate him to want something away from the very safe, sheltered existence is currently enjoying. It is important to note that teens are usually not yet equipped to determine their ultimate purpose or career goals. However, the trend in education is to require them to do just that. Many schools are adopting an educational approach that stresses the new three Rs: rigor, relevance, and relationships. Most people understand rigor (the coursework needs to be challenging) and relationships (kids need teachers and other adults to connect with them in a meaningful way). Most people, however, misunderstand relevance. They usually equate it with job training, believing that students should begin career planning as early as middle school. Parents and teachers tend to think about relevance as preparation for a career in the future and making money. But teens cannot think that far down the road. Something is relevant for a teenager if it involves friends or interesting and fun activities. A child may not want to be a professional musician, but band is sometimes the only thing that is relevant in the child’s high school life. Usually, the meaning of life for teenagers does not extend beyond their teenage years. Be sure that you remember what relevance means—and does not mean—for your teen.
From the book Drive: 9 Ways to Motivate Your Kids to Achieve, by Janine Walker Caffrey, EdD. Excerpted by arrangement with Da Capo Lifelong, a member of the Perseus Books Group. Copyright © 2008.
|
||
SUPPORTERS:
|
