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 Parenting Related NewsAs a college student living 5 hours away from my parents, I have the freedom to do pretty much whatever I want. If I got into any real trouble, with the university or the law, only then would the school contact my parents. Otherwise, I can get away with a lot without my parents ever knowing. That’s a scary thought for parents reading this, right?
Let’s face it. Teens are not that interested in talking to someone whose sole intent is to pepper them with questions, judge their answers, and offer unsolicited advice. In fact, these forms of communication serve to obstruct rather than facilitate communication with our teens. As a matter of fact, they are part of a longer list of communication blocks that parents would do well to avoid if they’d want their teens to talk to them.
I am betting that very few of you have sat through a week’s worth of sex education classes at your teenkid’s school. If your school district offers – or mandates – such classes, you no doubt have received a carefully crafted note listing the topics to be covered. And, if you have somehow managed to raise one of those rare tweens or teens who, in response to “so, what happened at school today?” replies polysyllabically, you might have a general notion of what goes on.
Do you know an outstanding youth coach or student athlete who demonstrates a commitment to fair, drug-free play and an overall healthy lifestyle? Does this person inspire others to give it their all, make the team smile after a big defeat, or show exemplary character and integrity on and off the field?
If you answered YES, [...]
One in five teenagers has abuse prescription pain medication. Dr. Drew shares some reasons why teens are abusing pills and what parents can do if they suspect their child is using.
Being a responsive parent instead of a reactive parent begins with more matter-of-fact interactions with our kids. This means speaking to them in a calm manner and not freaking out, overreacting and getting extreme with our emotions. Too often, when we see something in our relationship that we don’t like, we try to change everything wholesale. We say things like, “From now on, things are going to be different!”
My colleague told me she was having her 10-year-old stepson practice his reading and comprehension skills while reading entries from my personal blog. Effectively, she noted, along the way she discovered that it’s a creative method of early drug prevention too.
Truth be told, the lessons about alcohol consumption that are the most powerful may just be the ones that are not accompanied by a wagging finger and a tongue lashing. It is the small, accumulated lessons about drinking that add up to make a difference.
One of the most important things you can do as a 21st Century grandparent is instilling a belief in philanthropy. My husband and I have helped foster a sense of “giving back” into our grandchildren that is helping them learn the importance of assisting those in need.
She smiled and said she was proud of him. He had come to a 180 degree turn in his life. And with that, he turned to the other teens and thanked them for helping him change his life. His victory became theirs.
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WHEN IS THE RIGHT TIME TO LEAVE YOUR PEDIATRICIAN?By Kathy Sena At age 12, my son walked with me into his pediatrician’s office for an appointment and we both had the same thought: “It’s time to move on.” Having hit puberty on the early side, Matt was now 5’7”, 128 pounds and he had a deep voice. As much as we loved our pediatrician and her staff, it was time to say so long to the Thomas the Tank Engine wooden track in the waiting room, the Highlights for Children magazines and the tiny chairs. In our case, we knew Matt was ready to start seeing the family-practice doctor that his dad and I had trusted for years. But for many families, making this decision isn’t simple. Here’s help. WHEN IS IT TIME TO MOVE ON? First know that there are no rules; leaving the pediatrician is different for different kids. Sometimes, just an adjustment is needed. A girl with a male pediatrician or a boy with a female pediatrician may gradually become a bit shy about being examined by a doctor of the opposite sex, says Michelle Perro, M.D., a pediatrician in Fairfax, California. “This can happen as young as six years old for some girls,” says Perro. Often, the solution is to continue to see a pediatrician, but to ask for a referral to a doctor of the same sex, she says. (Some kids never mind either way about this issue, Perro adds. It all depends on the child.) But if your child is starting puberty or is beginning to have concerns about sexuality, body image or other more-adult issues — or if she simply no longer feels comfortable being surrounded by babies and younger kids in a pediatrician’s office — it might be time to move on. As your daughter gets older, she may want to stay with her pediatrician for everything except Pap smears and pelvic exams. There is no reason why she cannot see a gynecologist in addition to her pediatrician. Many families will stay with their pediatrician through the baby and early childhood years, when frequent well-child check-ups and immunizations mean regular visits, says Santa Monica, California family physician Lawrence D. Dardick, M.D. Then the years between ages 8 and 11 are usually fairly quiet, medically, he adds. At around age 11, the child needs additional immunizations, “and at that point, some families decide to change physicians.” Perro notes that families with a child with a chronic condition, such as asthma, cardiac disease, cystic fibrosis, etc., may choose to stay with their pediatrician longer than usual because the doctor really knows the child and his condition and there is a deep connection and continuity of care that may not be easy to recreate with a new doctor. Again, this would be something to discuss with your pediatrician. Some families have found that their kids are perfectly happy seeing their pediatrician until they leave for college. If your child wants to stay with her pediatrician, you should still prepare her for what will be an evolving relationship as she gets older. More than likely, Mom and Dad will eventually be in the room less and less. As she heads into the teen years, she will begin to have a more direct relationship with the doctor and will want to know that what she discusses with him will remain confidential (see sidebar), just as you’ll want to make sure that the pediatrician is comfortable dealing with teen-related medical issues. You might ask your doctor whether he will ask your child important questions regarding sleep issues; caffeine consumption; possible use of cigarettes, drugs or alcohol; puberty and sexual issues; and safety issues (use of seat belts and bike helmets, drinking and driving, etc.). SAYING GOODBYE Happily, your pediatrician has dealt with this natural transition to a new doctor many times and, if you have a good relationship and the doctor knows you well, she can often recommend a new doctor who would be an excellent fit for your child. When we left our pediatrician, I called first and then wrote a letter requesting Matt’s medical records and expressing my family’s thanks for all the wonderful years of care she had provided. Was it easy to say goodbye? No. But it helps to look at it like you would a school graduation. Your child is making a normal transition to a new phase in his life. WHAT TYPE OF DOCTOR DOES MY CHILD NEED? You have several options:
— Kathy Sena is a freelance journalist who frequently covers kids’ health. Visit her parenting blog at www.parenttalktoday.com. |
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